Changing your life with Self-Love
In this article we talk about the most beautiful love story, the one with ourselves, which for many people is not really a happy relationship! So how can we learn to love ourselves?
We often complain about not being or not feeling loved, and we will continue to do so until we understand that others are the mirror of ourselves.
The "others" do not love us or, better said, we do not feel loved enough, because we do not know how to love ourselves and we do not have enough love within us.
To feel loved we must have (and feel) love within ourselves, otherwise we will always seek in others what we lack inside.
But how can we find something outside that we don't have inside?
The outside is the consequence of the inside: what we feel inside manifests itself in our reality, through the people and situations we live in.
Consequently, to see love manifested externally, it is necessary to have it (and experience it) first within us.
However, loving yourself and developing love within is easy to say, but not so easy to do.
First of all, love for oneself should not be misunderstood with selfishness.
Self-love is the basis for being able to love others as well, otherwise in interpersonal relationships we will only develop mechanisms of desire and attachment, which have little to do with Love.
First we must observe ourselves and understand how we are and what happens inside us. We can start by asking ourselves some questions:
Consciousness and awareness: who am I or who do I think I am? What are my real needs? What is my purpose?
States of mind: what am I feeling now? what are my emotions? Do I try to hide them or not try them by silencing them?
Thoughts: how do I think? What are my most frequent thoughts? Do I have any sabotaging beliefs or patterns? What is my opinion of myself?
Attitudes: How do I behave? Do I have destructive habits? Do I take care of myself? Do I have respect and esteem for myself?
By starting to meditate on these inner questions, we allow to bring to light what we have inside and we begin to see better.
At this point we must develop some qualities and attitudes that allow us to improve the relationship with ourselves and begin to love each other a little more.
Having compassion and accepting what is, what we are, without judgment, is the first step to loving yourself unconditionally.
This does not mean that we must resign ourselves to being as we are if there are sides of us that we want to transform, but it does mean to stop criticizing ourselves and allow ourselves to make changes in a conscious way.
We let go of judgment for its own sake and learn to see our positives.
We are often the first to sabotage ourselves, judging ourselves negatively without having self-esteem. Belief in yourself is essential for developing a positive and loving attitude towards yourself. Having self-esteem, however, does not mean feeling perfect, but appreciating yourself and having confidence in your own qualities.
We abandon the importance we give to the judgment of others, the only judgment that matters is ours. We do not need the approval of others.
Work on yourself
Healing one's inner wounds, transforming negative thoughts and behaviours, bringing the unconscious to light, is our specific duty. It is part of our soul's mission.
Recognizing the ego and stopping identifying with it is essential, it is a path of reunion with our true self.
The work on ourselves will allow us to free ourselves from the weights that we have carried with us until now, which have prevented us from being truly present and from loving unconditionally, without selfishness.
Knowing ourselves deeply will help us to develop a presence (in the here and now) free of conditioning and to no longer be prey to unconscious emotions and thoughts.
There are also many practices like magick that can help us from an energetic and spiritual point of view. Considering ourselves as a whole of body, mind and spirit is fundamental to having a clear idea of how we are made and how we “work”. All these techniques work with the aim of bringing harmony and balance between body, mind and soul and promoting the healing and awareness process.